The Great Battle Of Fat Racoons In Milwaukee

In today’s article we are going to be discussing The great battle of fat racoons in Milwaukee.

If you have been living under a rock for the past 20,000 years or so, the great battle of fat racoons, more commonly known as WWR (world war racoon), you can learn all about it in this article.

It all started on the year 1982, on a Saturday.

The time was exactly 12:40 PM. Racoons had been acting strangely for the past year or so, and incidents involving racoons were becoming more frequent.

On that day the racoons struck.

They let loose a deathly plague, called rabies. 1000’s of people died from the disease.

Not only that, it caused extreme aggression on the infected humans. One hundred people died that night, 70 were sent to jail for murder and extreme aggression.

But this was not how the war started.

It started because the racoons were caught in the act, by a man named Flumper Wumpler.

He woke up in the middle of the night to see 1000s of racoons walking around in his house, taking everything, eating everything, throwing everything, it was complete chaos.

He then quietly slithered out of bed, ran out onto the street and ran like crazy to the nearest police station. Most of the racoons were caught, but some got away and wanted revenge.

That was how the war started.

The high in-command was professor Blob.

His full name was was Racoon Blob The Third, and he was horribly evil and cruel towards humans.

He first invaded Poland, and it was a success.

Next, they marched on to India, which they had a lot of trouble with. Eventually though, they conquered half of the whole of the Indian peninsula.

Eventually, England decided to get involved, so they started an alliance with Russia, and then Australia.

Sadly, the attack was not a success.

They tried to invade India. They did a full on attack, and it was a huge loss for England.

They lost hundreds of thousands of men, for the racoons were simply too strong and smart for mere humans.

Then, England got an idea, instead of fighting the racoons head on, they would use Racoons against Racoons!

Brilliant!

So they thanked Russia and Australia for their help in the battlefield, and then made a new alliance with the USA.

The USA was fresh supplied with highly trained professional racoons. Meanwhile, the racoon army marched on, its size increasing drastically.

They had now conquered all of Africa, and were crushing anything in sight.

Professor Blob blamed a certain animal for all of their misfortunes.

This animal was in fact humans.

He put all the humans in his conquered countries in jail, concentration camps, or death.

Then, racoons that were loyal to the English and the USA military, launched the attack against Professor Blob’s rogue army.

They took back the half of India, and gave it back to the Indian people.

Professor Blob was driven back to Poland. From there, he escaped to Milwaukee. Once there, he realized that Milwaukee’s residents were against the Racoon’s cause, so he felt compelled to launch an attack on them and ended up conquering Milwaukee in the now famous Great Battle Of The Fat Racoons in Milwaukee.

Soon, the only place they had left was Milwaukee.

England stepped back and sent the USA’s loyal racoon platoon, Sergeant General Big Blooper, on an attack and kill mission, targeted at Professor Blob himself.

They clashed, and the ground rumbled.

In the end, Professor Blob jumped into the sea, never to be seen again.

That is the story of WWR, the Great Battle Of The Fat Racoons in Milwaukee.